Pills
by signofthemoon
Summary: Peer pressure can make people do stupid things, but how long will it take for Ponyboy to realize he needs help. Warnings: Drug abuse, Alcohol use, and swearing. Some characters may also seem OOC. No pairing.
1. Chapter 1

**Full Summary: Peer pressure can make people do stupid things, but will Ponyboy realize that he needs help. The Outsiders never happened.**

**Authors note: Here we go, I wrote this story in two days and I apologise in advance for any errors on my behalf. **

**I am not an expert and I do not claim to be. This was just an idea that popped into my head. **

**I am sorry if any of the characters seem ooc. **

**If you don't like it, don't read it. **

**Warnings:**** Characters may seem OOC **

**Unbeta'd **

**AU**

**Drug abuse**

**Alcohol**** use**

**Rated T for foul language, alcohol and drug use**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders, and I make no profit from this story.   
**

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"Yo, kid! Wanna come and play football with us!" Two-bit yelled from the sidewalk.

"Nah, The teachers started the end of school homework rush and I still haven't started studying for finals." I explained.

"Shoot kid, finals are like three weeks away, what are you doing studying so early." asserted with a smile.

"I should have started weeks ago. Please don't tell Darry I haven't started to study yet, he'd skin me." I begged, dramatically falling to my knees.

Two-bit raised an eyebrow, "I suppose you find yourself on your knees in front of a guy often."

I growled playfully and lunged at Two-bits knees, knocking him to the ground. We continued wrestling for a few minutes. A cough behind us broke up the horseplay.

"I thought you said yesterday the teachers started to pile homework on you. I guarantee you, that if you don't start soon you won't be getting to bed until midnight. " Darry remarked.

Two-bit pulled me off the ground and proceeded to dust me off before pushing me towards the house. When Darry went inside I turned around and flipped Two-bit the bird. He laughed and dragged me into the house with him.

After freeing myself, I went to the desk in my room and I started organizing the work I had to do. Two labs for Science, A essay history, A essay for english, and so on so forth.

The gang bid me goodbye as they headed towards the lot. I pulled out my math textbook and decided to get the hardest part done with.

I sighed at the math book, after a few minutes of staring a wrote at the top of the page _Dear Math, please stop asking me to find your x, she's not coming back, and I don't know y either. _I quickly ripped that out of my binder and threw it in the general location of the garbage can. I pulled out a second piece of paper and started to doing the actual work.

I had yet to move of the menial questions of various subjects and onto the larger essays and labs, when the gang walked in for supper.

"Hey kiddo, you make supper?" Darry called from the kitchen. _Shit_ I shot off into the kitchen apologizing the whole way there.

"I am so sorry I was just-" I began to explain, but Darry cut me off.

"You have homework, I know. I just wanted to know if you remembered to feed your self. But I'm going to take that as a no. Go finish up I'll send Soda in later with some food."

Soda and I blinked at Darry's back, and then blinked at each other. "Good day at work Darry?" Soda asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"Nothing," Soda and I said at the same time. I turned and made my way back to my bedroom.

Once again I growled at the home work. It was just so frustrating, why do I care about this stuff anyway. I just don't have time to do any of this. When it became clear I wasn't going to be done until the early morning, I moved to the desk in Soda's old room.

_I don't understand any of this _I groaned and smacked my head onto the desk, and sighed for what must have been the hundredth time today. _I just want to get this over with_.

I felt stupid, I doubt Darry ever took this long to pump out the answers to a few lousy questions. _How do the teachers expect us to get all of this done for tomorrow? _

I woke up a few hours later with a start. I looked at the clock, it was one in the morning. I had slept for three hours. _Yeah, three hours that should not have been wasted. _

I had to finish the rest of this homework. Those three hours I had been sleeping I would have been able to finish my labs and the essays.

At around five I started to pack everything up. A blinked sleepily when a piece of paper fluttered down from my history binder.

_Write a short, five paragraph essay on the difference between Sparta and Athens. I want you to convince me to move to place or the other. _And this was due tomorrow. Well there goes those two hours of sleep I was about to have.

I dragged myself into the kitchen when I heard Darry get up. Soda didn't have to be into work until later, so he wouldn't be getting up anytime soon.

When Darry saw me he handed me a cup of coffee. I shrugged and drank the disgusting liquid.

"You can put some sugar in that." Darry stated. I blinked, and stumbled towards where Darry kept the sugar.

"Would you like some coffee with your sugar?" Darry asked. I grunted I was in no mood to joke. I still had one essay to finish that was due tomorrow, but I don't care.

"What time did you go to bed? You know you shouldn't stay up that late." Darry reprimanded.

"Well sorry, but I was finishing up my homework." I snapped.

"If you didn't do what you were supposed to do, do not get snippy at me for it!" Darry barked giving me a hard glare.

"I was doing it! There just isn't enough time in a day to get all that stuff done! We have a track meet next week and it's not like I can skip practices." I muttered.

"You were still awake when I went to bed. How late did you stay up?" Darry demanded.

"I fell asleep halfway while I was almost done, so when I woke up I had to finish it. I woke up at one and I have been awake ever since." it was after I said this I saw Johnny at the kitchen door, staring at us nervously. I stomped out of the kitchen and into the bathroom.

I wish Darry would realize that I am not super man like him. I can't just keep going and going. When I got out of the shower Darry was gone and Two-bit and Steve sat at the table with Johnny.

"Woah kid, rough night?" Two-bit cackled.

"I just didn't have time to sleep." I explained, pouring some chocolate milk and slouching in an empty seat.

"Don't let Soda hear ya say that." Steve said with a glare. I glared right back, today I just wasn't in the mood for Darry or Steve. I was just about to open my mouth when Soda walked into the kitchen.

"You sure are up early." I stated, laughing a little when Soda stumbled into the fridge.

"I had a hard time sleeping without you there. Where were you anyways?" Soda asked, ungreased hair falling over his eyes.

"Didn't want to keep you up while I did my homework, so I went to your old room and I guess I fell asleep there." I explained. It wasn't a lie, I did fall asleep.

"You guys better get going, or else you are going to be late." Soda yawned, pointing to the clock.

Quickly we headed out of the house and piled into Two-bits car. I fought hard to stay awake. Johnny was looking at me with concern, I just waved him off. I patted my pockets. Damn I left my smokes at home. I really needed a smoke right now.

Seeing me pat my pockets, Johnny pulled out a cigarette and handed it to me. Johnny and me rarely had to ask for something simple like that, we just understood.

I pulled a lighter of the seat of Two-bits car and lit the cig and rolled down the window. I inhaled deeply.

"Slow down, you act like you haven't had a smoke in days." Two-bit chuckled, blowing a stop sign.

"Darry says if I have more then three a day, he is taking the whole pack." I snort, How was Darry to know if I bummed a smoke off of somebody.

"Rough kid," Steve nodded sympathetically.

We made it to school with time to spare due to Two-bits disregard to speed laws of any kind. I waved goodbye to the boys and made my way to my locker.

"You look like shit." Erik MacKenzie, my locker neighbour said bluntly when I stood beside him.

"Really though Curtis, " Curly Shepard, grunted from my left.

"You act as though I don't feel how tired I am." I snip, glaring when Erik slams my locker shut.

"You look like you could use a pick me up." With a smirk Erick dropped something small into my hand. I look down and see a tiny white pill.

"Unuh, Darry would strangle me if I was on drugs." I start, trying to give Erik back the pill.

"Do you always do what Darry says? I didn't think you were a pussy." Curly drawled. "Besides you don't have track today, so it's not like your cheating."

"How do you know when I have track?" I asked shocked. How in the hell does Curly of all people know this.

"Don't change the subject, are you going to take the Goddamn pill of not!" Erik snaps. I rolled my eyes and swallowed the pill.

"Happy?" I said sarcastically.

"No, but in a few minutes you will be. Here take the rest, I have a feeling you'll need them anyways. If you need more, you know where to find me, I can get them cheap." With that Erik stalked away.

"I think I just got myself I drug dealer." I said in shock, holding a bottle of pills. I stuck the pills into my backpack.

"Everyone has a drug dealer Curtis." Curly told me like I was stupid. "Try not to act to strange around your brothers, eh your eyes are glassy enough right now anyways so they shouldn't even notice."

I turned away and walked to class. I didn't understand it wasn't like these pills were doing anything. I didn't know how wrong I was.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's**** note: Hello everyone, thank you for your reviews, and for following and favoriting my story. **

**As I stated before I am not an expert, I am merely a high school student writing for entertainment. **

**Advice is strongly welcomed, and I hope that as readers you will help me improve as a writer. **

**I apologise for the short chapter but I hope that quantity will improve over time.**

**~signoffthemoon**

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I sat down in my seat beside a soc girl named Minda. She smiled shyly at me, I did the same to her before turning to face the board. It wasn't until a couple minutes till I felt it.

It was like a small bundles of energy appeared in different places all over my body. One in each thigh and arm, one right below the center of my ribcage, and on in my brain. I felt jittery, and I knew my leg was bouncing. I felt like running and dancing, but most of all I wasn't tired anymore.

I wrote down the notes, but it was taking a painfully long time and I wondered if this was how Soda felt when he was in school. If it was I can totally see why he dropped out, this is just so boring. I felt myself wishing I had gym the semester.

The whole morning felt like this and I wished I could just be free for at least a couple of minutes. When the bell for lunch rang I was the first person out of the class and the first person out of the school.

I was leaning against Two-bits car waiting for him, Steve and Johnny, when I saw Erik. I quickly made my way over to him.

"What the hell am I on, man." I ask bounding to his side. He blinked when I showed up behind me, he laughed.

"ADD medication, it's strong stuff so try not to take to much at once." He continued to laugh.

"You mean I can take more?" I ask fiddling with my hands.

"I wouldn't advise it, it's not the strongest dose but it still hits ya hard, ain't it." He smacked me on the back.

"I never though I see the day were Ponyboy Curtis was high as a kite." Curly laughed. " by the looks of it seems like you like it"

"Eh, it ain't so bad, but Jesus, I need to do something! Oh, there's the guys! See ya later." I chirped.

"Who was that you were talking to?" Two-bit asked when I slipped into the back seat beside Johnny.

"Nobody, anyways can you hurry up and just get to the DX. I need to stretch my legs." I suggested, my leg bouncing again.

"Wow, Pone, you sure seem jittery." Johnny stated, once again looking at me with concern.

"Eh, just tired." I shrug.

"You don't seem tired to me." Steve turned around to glare at me.

"Well, you know what I think, Steve. I think it ain't none of your business what I am." I snapped glaring right back at him. I saw both Johnny and Two-bits eyebrows raise into there hairlines.

I jumped out of the car before Two-bit pulls to a complete stop. Ah, finally, I could move freely again. I was debating whether or not to run, when I felt a hard slap to the back of my head.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing kid." Of course it was Steve. I stopped paying attention and he continued to rant. I didn't even notice Sodapop come to meet us.

It was the second smack that Steve gave me that I finally turned around and decked him. I heard Soda cry out in shock, and I stormed off with no idea where I was going.

After a few minutes of walking, I found Curly, Erik, and a couple of other guys playing poker by the river. I sat down with a huff.

"What's got your panties in a knot." Joey aske from his spot in between Erik and a guy I don't know.

"Steve Randle." I glare at the ground. I didn't elaborate. "Anyways I'm heading back to the school. I don't need to give the state a reason to haul me away."

I continued my walk alone, making it to the school five minutes late. I walked into english and took my seat beside Johnny.

Unsurprisingly we were both quiet. We had the last to classes together and both of our teachers gave catch up classes. I manage to finish all my homework in record speed.

When the bell rang I bypassed Two-bits car and felt Johnny fall into step beside me.

"You're speeding aren't you?" I hear the quiet question. When I don't answer I hear " I'm sorry that was really rude. I doubt you do something like that."

"Nah Johnny, your right." I sighed. "You didn't tell anyone though right? Because I am not going to make a habit of this."

"I ain't told anyone, but I will if I catch you again. Soda was real worried about you after you hit Steve." Johnny explained. My head started to pound.

"Yeah, well I ain't sorry." I snap, I saw Johnny wince, " Sorry Johnny-cakes,"

"You don't gotta apologize to me, and you don't gotta be sorry about Steve either. Soda told us not to tell Darry."

Even though Darry wasn't going to find out I still felt guilty over everything I did today


	3. Chapter 3

**Warnings: AU, Drug Abuse, Minor Alcohol use, Foul Language**

**This is Unbeta'd**

**Parings: None**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsider**

**AN: I know its been awhile but I really just have just been avoiding editing this. I may have mentioned this before, but I do have this whole story written out it's just that nothing has been edited yet, so I guess I am going to have to work on shooing away my laziness and start updating at least on an occasion. **

**Like always feel free to review or favourite or whatever **

**-signofthemoon**

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Two weeks had past since I had originally taken Erik's pill. Since then I had only taken a couple to help me stay awake when I was completely buried in homework. I hadn't taken any over the last weekend due to the track meet, I wasn't going to mess with my chances of a track scholarship.

I have been avoiding both Johnny and Steve like the plague and every now and again I could feel Soda and Two-bit staring at me. Apparently everyone else can have a bad day but when I have a few bad days it's suddenly the end of the world. On top of all that here I am sitting here, awoken yet again by a nightmare.

I was getting them every night now, and thankfully I didn't wake up Soda and Darry. I groaned softly when I remembered I had my first exam this morning. Might as well fit in some studying.

I saw the bottle of pills in the bottom of my backpack. _You know what? _I thought, _I could really use a pick-me-up, besides what's the harm. _

When Darry, walked into the kitchen I was just starting to feel the effects of whatever drug I was on. I didn't care what it was, only what it does.

"Good morning, You know you can walk Soda or I up when you have a nightmare." Darry said, taking a mug out of the cabinet.

"Nawh, I don't want to be a bother to anyone." I shrug and look back down at my notes. Darry shook his head but didn't press the issue.

"So what exam do you have today?" Darry questioned sitting down across from me.

"History today, than math, and english." I told him, glancing up from some points on ancient Egyptian society.

"What about science?" Darry demanded.

"I exempted that once, it's my worst subject and taking the exam was only going to lower my mark." I explained. Darry seemed to ponder this, before getting up to start getting ready.

By the time I got home I could feel the headache coming on. I spent four hours at the library after my exam, going over review questions in a quiet spot.

Headaches always came with coming down off of the drug. I planned on cooking supper and then taking a nap. When I walked in the door I noticed Two-bit, Johnny and Dally.

"Hey Pone." Johnny greeted, taking a break from watching TV to look at me.

"Hiya Johnny-cakes," I put on a fake smile. I had to be careful around Johnny, he always knew when sometime was wrong with me. I slipped into the bathroom and looked to where Darry 'hide' the aspirins from me. Darry was always hopeless at hiding things. It was Soda that always won any sort of hiding game.

"Did you even sleep last night, kid?" Dally asked, barely glancing in my direction.

"Dawh, is Dallas Winston concerned about little Ponyboy." Two-bit joked without looking up from the television.

"Two-bit should be concerned about himself if he doesn't shut the hell up." Dallas growled.

"I'm fine, just a little stressed out from exams," I said, swallowing five aspirins dry.

"I thought Darry said no more aspirins." Johnny commented.

"He did, but what Darry doesn't know won't hurt him." I mumble, "Hey, you guys stay for supper?"

"Don't let Darry catch ya sayin' stuff like that. And depends on what's for supper." Two-bit answered.

"Spaghetti." I replied.

"With garlic bread?" Two-bit asked hopefully.

"Is there any other way?" I retorted.

"Imma stay for supper." Two-bit declared, wandering into the kitchen and grabbing a beer. Johnny and Dallas both nodded in agreement.

I had just finished cooking when Soda, and Steve walked through the door. Upon entrance Steve asked "what's for supper."

"Smells like garlic bread," Soda exclaimed, shoving a piece into his mouth. "Ouuh Gawhd hofff"

"What?" Everyone questioned.

"Oh god it's hot," Soda announced.

"Yeah, because it just came out of the oven. It should be cooled by the time Darry gets home." I said. So we went into the living room. My started pounding again with a vengeance. "You guys can eat without me, I'm going to go take a nap."

"Okay Pone, I'll put some on a plate for later." Soda spoke, as I stood up. I smiled at him and walked into the room I shared with Soda.

The rest of exam week went by similarly, me waking up from nightmares -sometimes screaming my lungs out- and taking one of those little white pills.

It wasn't like I had a problem, I just needed something to get me through exam week.

Johnny hadn't notice anything yet and for that I was grateful. I was going to stop taking those pills after my final exams.


	4. Chapter 4

**This chapter is kind of short, but it's still something right? **

**Warnings:Drug abuse **

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders**

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Nightmares woke me up, every. Single. Night. Even Soda beside me wasn't helping. I even slipped in beside Darry one night to see if that made them any easier to deal with.

_Just stop sleeping._ It seemed to me that this was my only option at this point. I couldn't take it anymore, I wasn't functioning like a normal human. But this method of nightmare preventing was flawed, how was I going to stop myself from was when it hit me, _The Pills._

No, I could do it without them. But as I thought more about that, I realized I really couldn't. But I also knew that I couldn't take those pills any more.

While having my internal debate, I hadn't realized that I had opened the bottle that held the pills. I blinked once before taking one.

I walked out of my bedroom to find Dallas Winston looking through my sketch book. I tried to snatch it away from him, but he sidestepped me and waked smoothly into the kitchen.

"Please stop." I beg, embarrassed because of the amount of pictures I drew of him.

"Look kid this are pretty good." He said, pointing at one of the pictures of him.

"Oh god, nobody was supposed to see these." I mumble slamming my head on the table. Dally blinked cooly at me.

"Not even Sodapop?" Dally asked in a matter-of-fact tone, that on him sounded tuff.

"Nobody was supposed to see these." I repeat, I could feel the pill working, I lightly banged my head against the table.

"You mind if I keep this one. I look extra badass in it." He said pointing to a picture of him smoking and flipping his switch blade.

"Go for it." I said. I haven't drawn anything for a while. The pills give me too much energy to draw or read. I needed to do something to occupy my time.

_A job_ .I needed to get a job. It would keep me busy and I heard that the library was hiring. Now I just need to convince Darry.

"You okay kid, you seem kinda jumpy." Dally asked, no trace of concern in his voice.

"Yeah, I just have a little too much energy," I explain. Well it wasn't a total lie.

"Sure, well I'm going to go find Johnny." and with that, Dallas left the house, letting the door slam.

I grabbed my sketchbook and moved it to a new hiding spot, considering Dallas found my other one. I was once again grounded, considering Steve told Darry I was back to smoking a pack a day.

I had know clue what Steve's problem was, just because I punched him doesn't mean he had to start acting like such a jerk. Not only did Darry take away all my cigarettes, but he threatened the rest of the gang as well, so now I can't even bum off of one of them because they are all afraid of 'Superman.'

So here I was cranky, filled with energy, and trying to make a convincing argument that would allow me to get a job.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read, ****review, favourite or follow this story. I don't know if I have ever said that, but I'm saying it now. **

**Disclaimer:I DO NOT OWN THE OUTSIDERS. **

* * *

By the time Darry walked in the door I had my argument all figured out.

"Hey, kiddo. Where's Soda?" Darry asked walking into the house.

"He called saying he was working late tonight." I explained working up the nerve to tell him what I had to say. Honestly I wasn't sure if it was nerves or the pills. I hid my shaking hands behind my back.

"What's wrong." Darry bluntly ask. There goes the smooth intro I had planned.

"I was wondering if I could look into getting a part time job?" I mumbled looking down at my feet.

"A job?" Darry's eyebrows shot up to meet his hairline.

"Yeah, you know where people go to earn money, other wise known as an occupation." The sarcasm left my mouth before I could stop it.

"I know what a job is, " Darry snapped, "I was just wondering why."

"Why do people get jobs?" I respond.

"Look, if you're trying to help pay the bills the answer is no." Darry stated.

"In another year, I'm going to be sixteen. What if I want a car, and even if I don't have a car, how will I pay for gas. Not to mention I want my own money, so I can buy books, without permission." I start my argument.

"I don't know-" Darry begins.

"Besides if I have a job, you know where I am. Not to mention I will be working, instead of getting in trouble like all the other hoods in this town." I argue.

"And where would you be working?"

"The library and the bookstore are both hiring." I see Darry thinking, and I knew I won.

"Fine, tonight we will start working on your resume. You better take this seriously, Pone. " Darry sighs.

"I will." I assure him. And for the next few hours me and Darry worked. Me calling and asking for references, and Darry telling me what things to put where.

The next day Darry took me to both the library and the bookstore. I realized with start that no matter how much I wanted to take the pills while I was working, I meant what I said when I agreed to take this seriously. _But you can still take them at night and the days you are not working _my brain told me, I instantly relaxed at that thought.

"Don't worry kiddo, I'm sure somebody will call you." Darry reassures me. I smile at him, for the last few weeks Darry has been laying off me, just a little.

"I really hope they do." I sigh.

Later that night after we went to bed, Soda started asking me questions, " So I hear you're looking for job?"

"Yeah," I reply, my head hurting. I shivered, I hadn't taken a pill all day.

"I'm proud of you. You're getting a job without getting prompted." Soda turned and smiled at me.

"Thanks Soda, if anything I am getting prompted to not get a job." I joked.

"You know, when I stopped going to school, Darry told me I wasn't just going to sit around on my ass. He said if I wasn't in school and I was still living under this roof I was going to be paying rent." Soda confessed.

"He told me if I still lived here at eighteen I was going to start paying rent too." I commented.

"I guess it's fair though, I wasn't in school so I had to start contributing at some point. I do like my job though. A lot more than I'd like to admit." Soda said. "Anyways lets get to sleep."

I got the call a few days later I had an interview at the bookstore. I wasn't expecting to get one at the library when I saw the soc girl that also worked there throw my resume in the trash.

On the day of the interview I skipped the pills, so I wasn't as jittery as usual.

"Hi, I'm Ponyboy Curtis. I have an interview here today." I informed the middle age lady at the desk.

The bookstore was a medium size and had a calm, serene feel to it. The was a large wall made of glass that connected the store to the cafe next door.

"Come on Jordan is ready for you in the back." The lady smiled politely at me, as she led me into a small office. Her name tag read Mason. I nodded thanks and introduced myself to the man behind the desk.

The man, Jordan, had dark oily hair, and dark eyes. He had a kind face, and told me to take a seat.

"So, Ponyboy, is there any particular reason, you were looking to apply at this specific store?"

"I really like books, and I figure I would feel the most comfortable working here." The interview went on for another twenty minutes.

"I'll give you a call tonight, if you have the job or not."

"Thank you for considering me." I thank him, before making my way back to Darry's truck.

"So how do you think it went." Darry asked when I got into the truck.

I shrugged, " I dunno, I think it went okay. He said he'd call tonight to tell me if I got the job. "

Later that night after supper, the phone rang. "Hello?" I said.

"Hi, is this Ponyboy?" A voice asked over the receiver.

"Yes this is him."

"This is Jordan from the bookstore, I'm calling to tell you, that you got the job."

"Thank you, sir."

"No need to call me sir. Do you know when you can come in to start training." Jordan questioned.

"I can come in whenever you need me." I reply.

"How about on Tuesday? So we can get you set up, and start showing you the ropes." Jordan supplied.

"I'll be there, Thank you."

"See you then."

I sigh and turn around. I saw the gangs curious looks. Finally Darry asked, "Well?"

"I got the job." I confessed.

"Go Pony!" Soda cheered. Steve gave me an impressed look.

"I didn't even know you was looking for a job." Two-bit muttered, pulling out ten bucks and handing it to Dally.

"I knew the kid, would be getting a job before you." Dally said looking smug.

"When do you start?" Darry questioned.

"I start next tuesday, it's only to get everything's set up, and to start training." I replied.

"I think this calls for some chocolate cake." Soda announced, heading towards the kitchen.

"Everything calls for chocolate cake with you Soda." Steve yelled at Sodas retreating form.


	6. Chapter 6

**I do not own the Outsiders **

**There is some swearing in this chapter.**

* * *

I was settling into routine at the bookstore fairly easily. After getting used to everything it was actually quite a fun job. If it was a slow day and I finished restocking the shelves, and taking inventory I was allowed to read any book that I wanted.

The day that I got my first pay check just happened to be the day that I ran out of pills. I made the decision that I was not going to get anymore. I let out a shaky breath, no matter how alive they made me feel or how exhausted I am I could not take these pills.

Sleeping was something that was hard to come by these days, it didn't matter how hard I tried sleep just wouldn't come. Some days, when I was really desperate for sleep, a handful of aspirin did the trick. Along with the loss of sleep, weight loss was something else I noticed but this was probably caused by the fact that lately the thought of food nauseated me.

I flew off the bed stumbling forward as a wave of dizziness washed over me. After waiting for the room to stop spinning I made my way towards the front door. Maybe going for a walk would help clear my head and help me to sleep better. I wouldn't be gone for too long, I will just slip out for a little bit. I picked my wallet off of the table, wanting to have some money in case of an emergency.

I was just walking past the Dingo when I saw him. As if I were possessed my legs carried me in his direction. Leaning against the hood of someones car, he grinned like a wildcat when he saw me approaching him

"Well look-y here, isn't it little Ponyboy Curtis. You know, I was expecting you a lot sooner then this." Erik teased. "I suppose you finally ran out."

"I suppose your right. How much would it cost me to get some more?" Jesus, I couldn't believe that I was actually doing this.

"Normally these puppies sell for twenty or more for one pill. But since I consider you to be a friend, and because of the ease I can get this shit, I'll give you 75 for the whole bottle." Erik offered as though this was a completely normal occurrence.

I fished out my wallet and handed him the money with pale shaky hands.

"Hell Curtis, you always carry around this much cash on hand?" Erik asked pocketing the money.

"Today is a special occasion" I replied softly. Actually the money was suppose to go to a new pair of running shoes. He handed over the bottle and I stuffed it in my pockets.

"Moving on. This stuff is a stronger dose then the other stuff so have fun. By the way, you want it to hit you harder try snorting it." Erik advised. "If you can help it try not to take any today and meet me and Curly at the theaters later, got it?"

"Yeah sure." I agreed.

When I got home, I hid the pills. I paced around the house for a while but the thought of the bottle kept pulling me back into my bedroom. Ripping open the drawer I dumped a pill onto my hand. I set the pill on the table, using the end of a book I crushed the pill into a fine white powder.

Oh god, I thought, I've never snorted anything in my life, I don't know how to do this. I laughed at that thought, of all the things I could have thought of. Taking a deep breath I just went for it.

As I was cleaning up the last remains of the powder, I heard the screen door slam. Scrambling upwards I darted into the kitchen to see Darry lowering himself onto his chair.

"Hey Darry" I said tentatively.

"Yeah, Pone?"

"I was wondering if I could go catch a movie with Erik and Curly tonight." I mumble, looking at Darry. I saw his jaw clench, and instantly knew the answer would be no.

"Fine, be home by midnight, and-" Darry began.

"No drinking and don't go to Buck's." I finished for Darry

"See you guys later," I called while leaving the house. I waved to the rest of the gang who were all making there way to the porch. I tripped down the last few stairs and heard barks of laughter from behind, but I didn't care. I felt way to good to care.

"Yo Curtis." I heard Curly before I saw him.

"Yo man, what are we doing tonight." I ask, taking the smoke Curly was offering me. I snatched the lighter out of Curly's hand.

"Tim's takin' us to a party," Erik smirked as he looked into my eyes. "Shoot kid I knew you wouldn't make it through the day."

Curly looked confused but that was nothing new.

"If I get drunk, Darry will kill me." I said.

"I thought Darry was going to kill you if you didn't stop smokin' too. I think it's an empty threat." Erik replied, and Curly nodded in agreement. I guess he did have a point. "Not to mention you're high as a fucking kite, so I really don't see what the big deal is."

"Wait one minute." Curly announced. "Your fucking high and you didn't even bring anything to share?"

Erik and I laughed as Tim's car puled up beside us. We all piled in to the back seat.

We made it into the party, and Curly snatched a Rockstar Vodka out of someones hand and shove it into my hands. Tim smacked Curly in the back of the head. "You better not get him fucking drunk. I don't want to have to deal with his brothers."

When Tim left, Curly turned back to me, "Are you gonna fucking drink that or what."

Slowly I popped the can open and brought it to my lips. I took a sip and brought the can away from my mouth.

"Is that fucking it?" Erik demanded. As I took another drink, Erik squeezed the can forcing the contents down my throat. "See that wasn't so bad."

I coughed as I tried to not choke on the drink. Erik rolled his eyes and gave me a pointed look. I quickly drank the rest of the can, not wanting to repeat the previous event.

"Are you sure we should be forcin' him to drink if he doesn't want too? Besides we don't know how alcohol is going to react with those pills"Curly asked. The first smart thing to ever roll out of his mouth. For a brief second I was proud of Curly

"I just want to see what a drunk Pony looks like, besides you don't mind right Pony?" Erik questioned, taking a swig out of his drink.

_Why did I come tonight _I thought, I felt a little fuzzy inside. _It'll be better to just do what he says. _I nodded quickly.

Curly chugged his drink and looked at me, not wanting the same treatment. It was clear that this was not going to be a fun night.

"I came to have a could have a good time with my friends, here I am on my third drink and you ain't even on your second." Erik snapped.

"I gotta go ask Tim something I'll be back soon." Curly told Erik, and headed off where we last saw Tim. I was jealous of Curly's quick getaway.

"Hey Pony, now that it's just you and me why don't we try something a little stronger. I'm thinking plain vodka, without any of this extra shit in it. Actually I think I want a little whiskey. " He leaned over towards me, "That's what I was drinking before I came here."

That explains why Erik was acting more forceful then usual, he was already drunk.

Saying no to Erik wasn't an option if the tales of him being a violent drunk were anything close to the truth. I sincerely hoped that Curly ran off to go get Tim instead of just fleeing. Because I had no clue what I was going to tell Darry if I came home drunk off my ass.

The first few shots were taken by way of him threatening to tell my brothers about the pills but as the night rolled on, and I got progressively more drunk I started to have a bit more fun.

I was making out with some girl wearing a tight black dress, when Tim had decided to finally make an appearance.

"What the hell do you think you are doing." Tim demanded, ripping me backwards away from the girl in black.

"What does it look like man." Erik slurred, leaning into Tim's personal space.

Tim pulled Erik aside and I couldn't hear what was being said.

"What ever Tim, go fuck yourself." Erik retaliated. Erik stormed off, as I watched him go I was spun around to face none other but Tim Shepard.

"Darry is going to kill me. I swear to god Curly, if I ever see you around that kid again, I am going to pound you." Tim swore, " I didn't actually think he was gonna force it on ya, kid. Let's get you home Curtis."

"Darry's gonna kill me." I slurred.

"Jeez Curtis, you a light weight arn't cha." Curly observed.

"Please tell me if you're going to puke." Tim mutters, peeling away from the house.

Tim helped me stumble to up the porch. I stopped and vomited over the side of the railing.

"Pony is that you? You don't have to be in for another hour. What the hell!" I heard Darry exclaim, but I was still too busy puking to even care.

"Go easy on him. Curly told me that Erik was forcing him to drink." Tim explained.

"Are you serious." Darry whispered dangerously.

"The kids a violent drunk. And I've seen Erik do it before, mostly just to girls though. It's not Pony's fault."

"Thanks Tim,"I hear Darry sigh, then I feel him pick me up.

"I'm so sorry," I sob into Darry's shoulder. The last thing I felt was being place in bed.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders **

**There is swearing in this chapter.**

* * *

Soda Pov

When I woke up the sun was streaming into my face. I knew something was wrong when I could smell the stale scent of alcohol. I groaned when I realized the smell was coming off of Ponyboy. Darry was going to skin him.

Darry was sitting in his chair glaring at the wall when I walked in to the living room. The gang was also setting in living room, passing side glances to Darry periodically.

"So." I began, figuring by the look of him Darry already knew about Pony. "Why does my little brother smell like a mini-bar."

I saw the rest of the gang glance up as I said this. Getting drunk was out of character for Pony and it seemed everyone wanted to know what happened.

"Erik Lanningstar." Darry spat out, "Tim Shepard says this kid has a little habit of forcing kids to get drunk."

I could practically feel the rage boil out from Dally and I was seeing in all red. Steve put a hand on my shoulder. "So this little fuck forced him to get drunk."

"That's what the story is anyways." Darry snorted.

"So what to we plan on doing about this?" Two-bit asked pulling out his switchblade.

"We are not going to do anything about it." Came Darry's quite reply.

"And why the hell not." Dallas raged flying to his feet.

"Because the social worker is coming next week and Soda and I can't go around sporting bruised knuckles." Darry explained.

"That doesn't mean we can't do anything." Dally argued.

"You're not doing anything, because I want to make sure that this bastard never comes near my brother again." I fumed. I took a deep breath. "I am going to go check on Pony."

I pulled away from Steve and marched back us to the bedroom I share with my little brother. When I opened the door I could hear a soft groaning coming from under the blankets

"Hi Sodapop." He mumbled, when I got close to the bed

"Hi Pone." I said sitting down on the bed beside him.

"I feel like shit." Pony muttered, pushing the blankets away from his face.

"I'll go get you an aspirin and a glass of water." I promised as a slowly came to my feet.

"Make that a few aspirins." Pony chuckled quietly.

I left and came back with the promised items.

"Are you going to tell me what happened last night?" I questioned.

"I got drunk, there isn't much else to say." Pony muttered with a slightly bitter edge to his voice.

"Are you sure? Because you know you can tell me anything." I assured him.

"Just leave it be Soda." He snapped, but then his tone softened. "Thanks for the water."

I could practically feel him retreat back into his shell. Trying to get him to open up would be a waste of time. Instead I said goodbye and made my way back to the living room where the gang was talking in hushed whispers.

"Did he say anything?" Johnny asked when I flopped down on the floor beside Steve.

"I tried to get him to talk but he closed up like a clam. Talking to him is no use when he is like that." I explained and Darry nodded in agreement

"What are we going to do?" Johnny questioned.

"I don't know Johnny-cakes." I said. "I just don't know."

"We are going to ground him." Darry spoke up.

"But Darry I thought Tim said it wasn't his fault." Two-bit spoke up from his spot on the couch.

"Doesn't matter. He still lied to me about going to the movies when he was really going to a party." Darry said.

The gang was silent. We all knew Darry had a point.

"Besides maybe if he is stuck in the house with us, he actually tell us what happened." I added.


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry it's so short guys, I've actually had the whole story written since last year but I just don't have the energy to write. It's also really short because I feel it's a chapter with a strong impact to the story line. **

**Warning this is gonna get kinda heavy. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Outsiders or any of the characters, all rights go to the original author.**

* * *

It's been a few weeks since the party, and Soda still refuses to talk to me. He doesn't understand, I need the pills and the only person I knew could get them was Erik. The pills have been the only thing keeping me going.

_I am sinking_

I tried to stop taking them but I just couldn't. I need the energy they bring. I also began to ignored my rule of not taking them before work. Because who really as the energy to deal with customers without a little bit of extra help.

_I am in a free fall _

School starts soon and I know I need help. I bought my second bottle of pills off of Erik, and I have to go back for a third soon.

_I am drowning _

The gang has started to notice that something is wrong . I have been losing weight I don't have. I snap at everybody, even Johnny, Soda, and Dallas. My limbs now twitch uncontrollably at times.

_I am spiraling out of control_

My hands are always so cold, and food turns my stomach enough to vomit most days.

_I can not save my self_

Now I have begun to see things that aren't actually there. Shadows now whispers in an unrecognizable language.

_Somebody help me. _

I am slowly killing myself.


End file.
